Five Years! (and counting…)

A picture of us taken last January 1, 2009. Yeah, we were still thin then!

Who could ever imagine a diplomatic, introvert, and reserved Arbie dela Torre would court an immature, gregarious, and loud Rudylen Anino?

Looking back to those days when Arbie asked me to be his girl friend, I was in bliss and at the same time hesitations for some reasons – my studies, my insecurities, our own past relationships, our differences. Despite these hesitations though, on April 28, 2007, I still said “Yes!” to him. Did I really fall in love with him instantly? No. Did he? He said yes, but I was not just sure (hahaha!)

Our first few months of being boyfriend-girlfriend turned out to be bittersweet. We had been into several arguments, quarrels, confrontations and the worst, breaking up once. I know these were just spices of our relationship. However, what made our relationship ‘much more delicious’ were our sweet nothings, thoughtful conversations, and the best, our love for each other.

As days, months, and years pass by, Arbie and I have never failed to show our love, care, and respect for each other. Five years of being together is not a joke. For me, it is an achievement. It is as if I received my medallion of being a Cum Laude or my trophy of being a runner-up in Trans Eclectics during Intramurals. However, it is more than the aforementioned. For me, these five years is a testimony that “Opposites attract” and “Love conquers all.” You may or may not agree though, yet for me, that is how our love has grown and has made us stronger, happier, and more blessed.

Question: Will we still keep on celebrating our anniversary as boyfriend-girlfriend even if we are already married? Answer: Yes! So we will be celebrating two of the most important dates in our lives and we will be cherishing the feeling of blissfulness and blessedness that only happy couples can genuinely feel.

So to the man whom I loved, love and will love forever and ever, Mr. Arbie A. dela Torre, Happy 5th anniversary as bf-gf and 4th monthsary as husband and wife. I love you very much! ♥

Happy on our 60th & 4th! (and yes! We have grown bigger! LOL!) 🙂

Does My Husband Have to Know Everything?

I posted something on Facebook. My husband happened to read it. He asked me what was that all about. I was taken aback. I could not answer him. He asked me again, this time, he was insistent. I told him that I would just tell him if I were ready. I turned my back from him, and then he continued facing the computer again. Silence.

In all the years that we have been “we”, I have not been secretive to him. He knows who my X-boyfriends were. He knows what I like and dislike. He knows how emotional I get when I am tired or sad. He knows my childhood. He knows me. Yet at that instant, when he asked me about the post, my brain froze and my tongue rolled back. I really could not answer him.

Okay. The post was not about him. I assured him of that. I told him that he does not know the person whom I was talking about. However, he was like a young boy persistently asking for a piece of candy from his girl playmate. Well, less the tantrums though. I reiterated to him that I would just tell him soon or the soonest, or maybe, never.

I think there is nothing wrong if wives are open to their husbands or vice versa. As per Dr. Aphys Fade, “Your spouse has the right to your innermost thoughts. Privacy has no place between a husband and his wife. The more secrets you have, the more chance of problems when she finds out the truth. If you are secretive, you undermine your wife’s feelings and security. When a woman can trust you, she is able to love you more fully.” However, in our case, I was the one secretive. Of course, I did not undermine my husband’s feelings and security. I want him to trust me. I know he trusts me. He loves me. I love him more. That little secret might have made me realize about things between us, but it had never ruined our love for each other. It was never about him, right? It was just a ‘microscopic speck’ of our relationship.

As what Rhonda H. Kelley said in her article Communication between Men and Women in the Context of the Christian Community, “In marriage, the husband and wife must understand each other’s style of communication. While the husband may have no need to discuss his feelings about a specific situation, the wife may want to talk it out. A husband may want to confront conflict, while the wife may try to avoid it.” The bottom line here is, wives and husbands must have openness, understanding, respect, and most of all, love for each other. I married my husband entitling him to own me, as I own him. Though I can still be with my own self and him with his own self, yet now, there is a big difference. We are now “one”. Above and beyond, we will always live to our vows that is “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

“Journeying until FOREVER”

At The Fourteenth Station..

It has been the fourth time since Arbie and I have been going to Shrine Hills Matina every Good Friday for the Way of the Cross (also known as Stations of the Cross). Together, we have been going there to pray, to ask for forgiveness, and to renew our faith to God.  Aside from the two of us (of course!) and as expected, a number of people have been going there to do the same things. People’s intention to pray and reflect is there. However, do we really profess our faith faithfully as we should?

My husband and I went to Shrine late in the afternoon to avoid the rush of people and the intense heat of the sun. When we arrived, we were amazed of how plenty still were the people heading to the Way of the Cross. Hence, we started walking a bit fast so we could start.

As we started the Way of the Cross and prayed, I (or maybe my husband also) started to observe things that were happening there. As we transferred from one station to another, different things (and people) were in plain sight that you could not help but notice and ‘ask’.

It was taken that we could see candle vendors there. But, how about those belt, bag, shoe, and toy vendors? Maybe we could consider those who sold bottled waters and soft drinks, too, but how about those who sold ice scramble and shake? And there was this one thing that really caught my attention: the HUGE stall of children and ladies’ clothes! I am NOT against them, but was it timely for them to be there? I mean, maybe they were taking chances that people would still buy from them, but then again, was it timely – for a Good Friday? Aside from the vendors, there were also those (how would I say this?) those who were visually impaired and differently abled people asking for alms. I just wondered how were they able to get there, especially to the fifth or sixth station? With a companion? Maybe.

So we continued walking, returning our focus and attention to our main reason why we were there – the Way of the Cross. As we approached the final station (which was quite a distance from the prior station), our attention was then again caught by things that were so ‘unfortunately’ noticeable – the canteen! Oops, I mean, the array of stores. From drinks to food, from toys to clothes, they were there. Goodness! Never had it been in my wildest imagination, that Good Friday would become a “festive holiday!”

At last, after all those stuffs that we went through, we reached the fourteenth station! Yes, at the fourteenth station, where stores were everywhere, people were everywhere, and trashes were everywhere. Yes, trashes. There were these candy and junk food wrappers and the like, but at the fourteenth station, the plastic wrappers, which were used to place fourteen (14) candles and were sold at Php 20.00 each pack were a “box-office hit!” My husband and I just shook our heads, felt dismayed at such sight before us.

the plastic wrappers scattered at the fourteenth station

Those things really made us feel bad. As what my husband said “Hay, Pinoy! Kung asa nag-last station, tu-a pud ang mga basura sa kandila!”  It is true. What pains us most is that, we were there for the Way of the Cross. Do those trashes mean that we are going to dirty the Way of the Cross? That was how I perceived it! There is no question on our faith. However, as I asked, do we really profess our faith faithfully? Do we really meditate on the message that the Way of the Cross tells us? Do we really repent for our sins? Do we show love to Jesus Christ through those trashes, especially those at the fourteenth station?

These questions will remain unanswered; unless, people will realize that Good Friday is not a holiday, and the Way of the Cross is not a garbage field.  People should realize that on this day and way, Jesus died for all of us. We are to repent for our sins, not to aggravate our sins. I just hope and pray that all of us will reflect on how important this day and this way are in our lives.

(Oh, by the way, you might wonder. I still have with me the wrapper of our candles. It is still in the pocket of my pants.)

Have a blessed Good Friday!

Their First Impressions on Me!

“In psychology, a first impression is the event when one person first encounters another person and forms a mental image of that person. It can sometimes form an accurate representation of the person, depending on the observer and the person being observed.”

Whenever “first impression” is talked about especially about me, I already have some presumptions as to how people would describe me from the very first time they met me. And when I hear their first impressions on me, I just smile because most of them are often correct. But, do these first impressions really last at all?

When my Emmaus group (Emmaus 6) had a gathering last March 29, 2012 Thursday, I learned their first impressions on me (this was part of the mini-program that we had in our gathering.) I won’t mention who said what, but let me mention their impressions on me when they got to rub shoulders with me for the very first time:

  • tomboyon (boyish)
  • talented
  • kadugo na talaga ng Emmaus 6
  • domineering / has a strong personality
  • easy to get along with
  • an asset
  • hawod-hawod (predominant)
  • bubbly
  • “magaan na agad ang loob” sa akin
  • optimistic and high-spirited
  • strives for excellence

So these were their first impressions on me. I already expected for the others (e.g. domineering, predominant) but with the rest, they were still something that made me wonder. LOL! Kidding aside though, I never imagined that I was generally a good person to them. It flattered and still flatters me. 🙂

Maybe they are true, that these impressions are true, but yeah, they are impressions still. It’s still up to us though whether we will live up to their first impressions on us, or we will prove them wrong. After all, no one else knows you much better but only you!