Five Years! (and counting…)

A picture of us taken last January 1, 2009. Yeah, we were still thin then!

Who could ever imagine a diplomatic, introvert, and reserved Arbie dela Torre would court an immature, gregarious, and loud Rudylen Anino?

Looking back to those days when Arbie asked me to be his girl friend, I was in bliss and at the same time hesitations for some reasons – my studies, my insecurities, our own past relationships, our differences. Despite these hesitations though, on April 28, 2007, I still said “Yes!” to him. Did I really fall in love with him instantly? No. Did he? He said yes, but I was not just sure (hahaha!)

Our first few months of being boyfriend-girlfriend turned out to be bittersweet. We had been into several arguments, quarrels, confrontations and the worst, breaking up once. I know these were just spices of our relationship. However, what made our relationship ‘much more delicious’ were our sweet nothings, thoughtful conversations, and the best, our love for each other.

As days, months, and years pass by, Arbie and I have never failed to show our love, care, and respect for each other. Five years of being together is not a joke. For me, it is an achievement. It is as if I received my medallion of being a Cum Laude or my trophy of being a runner-up in Trans Eclectics during Intramurals. However, it is more than the aforementioned. For me, these five years is a testimony that “Opposites attract” and “Love conquers all.” You may or may not agree though, yet for me, that is how our love has grown and has made us stronger, happier, and more blessed.

Question: Will we still keep on celebrating our anniversary as boyfriend-girlfriend even if we are already married? Answer: Yes! So we will be celebrating two of the most important dates in our lives and we will be cherishing the feeling of blissfulness and blessedness that only happy couples can genuinely feel.

So to the man whom I loved, love and will love forever and ever, Mr. Arbie A. dela Torre, Happy 5th anniversary as bf-gf and 4th monthsary as husband and wife. I love you very much! ♥

Happy on our 60th & 4th! (and yes! We have grown bigger! LOL!) 🙂

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Does My Husband Have to Know Everything?

I posted something on Facebook. My husband happened to read it. He asked me what was that all about. I was taken aback. I could not answer him. He asked me again, this time, he was insistent. I told him that I would just tell him if I were ready. I turned my back from him, and then he continued facing the computer again. Silence.

In all the years that we have been “we”, I have not been secretive to him. He knows who my X-boyfriends were. He knows what I like and dislike. He knows how emotional I get when I am tired or sad. He knows my childhood. He knows me. Yet at that instant, when he asked me about the post, my brain froze and my tongue rolled back. I really could not answer him.

Okay. The post was not about him. I assured him of that. I told him that he does not know the person whom I was talking about. However, he was like a young boy persistently asking for a piece of candy from his girl playmate. Well, less the tantrums though. I reiterated to him that I would just tell him soon or the soonest, or maybe, never.

I think there is nothing wrong if wives are open to their husbands or vice versa. As per Dr. Aphys Fade, “Your spouse has the right to your innermost thoughts. Privacy has no place between a husband and his wife. The more secrets you have, the more chance of problems when she finds out the truth. If you are secretive, you undermine your wife’s feelings and security. When a woman can trust you, she is able to love you more fully.” However, in our case, I was the one secretive. Of course, I did not undermine my husband’s feelings and security. I want him to trust me. I know he trusts me. He loves me. I love him more. That little secret might have made me realize about things between us, but it had never ruined our love for each other. It was never about him, right? It was just a ‘microscopic speck’ of our relationship.

As what Rhonda H. Kelley said in her article Communication between Men and Women in the Context of the Christian Community, “In marriage, the husband and wife must understand each other’s style of communication. While the husband may have no need to discuss his feelings about a specific situation, the wife may want to talk it out. A husband may want to confront conflict, while the wife may try to avoid it.” The bottom line here is, wives and husbands must have openness, understanding, respect, and most of all, love for each other. I married my husband entitling him to own me, as I own him. Though I can still be with my own self and him with his own self, yet now, there is a big difference. We are now “one”. Above and beyond, we will always live to our vows that is “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

“Journeying until FOREVER”