Looking forward

It’s been more than a month since I’ve had an excruciating abdominal pain. It’s been more than a month since my first time being hospitalized. It’s been more than a month since my operation. And, it’s been more than a month that I have been thanking God for giving me another chance to enjoy life.

August 23, 2017. While my husband and I were on our way home from SM Lanang, I suddenly felt like my stomach burst and my intestines wrung. From the tricycle going home, I just placed my hands on my tummy trying to ease the pain but it was of no use. The pain was so unbearable that I couldn’t help but scream and cry. The entire night I was thinking that it was just a normal stomachache or I just ate something that disturbed my stomach. So, I just let the night pass thinking it would be gone the next day. But, it didn’t.

August 24, 2017 at 2:00 in the morning, my husband awoke because I screamed again due to the pain. Thinking that that pain was already something else, instead of giving me mefenamic or celecoxib, he gave me paracetamol. (Yes, it’s not the remedy.) Somehow, I was able to go back to sleep until a couple of hours later, I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. Then, my husband decided that we would rush to the hospital.

At the hospital, things happened slowly and quickly at the same time. Slowly, because I wanted to know immediately what really was the culprit of my abdominal pain. And, quickly, because medical attention was rendered to me swiftly. When I learned that I had to be admitted, call me crazy but I was actually excited because it was my first time being hospitalized. However, that excitement was overpowered by worry, anxiety, and fear, as I was advised to undergo whole abdomen ultrasound. (But, I was more worried that I was told not to drink or eat anything for the ultrasound.)

It was then 9:00 in the morning; it was already time for the ultrasound. From the emergency room, I was brought to the ultrasound room. When I was being checked by the doctors, I could hear them saying the words ‘fluid’ and ‘mass.’ By then, I had already theorized that my ovarian cyst finally leaked. But, we still waited for the results.

After the ultrasound, I was brought to room 304. There, we waited for the doctor who was in charge of me. From then, I already felt groggy and my senses seemed to malfunction due to my thirst, hunger, and pain. When my doctor finally arrived, she told me that I had to undergo surgery because according to the ultrasound result, my ovarian cyst had already ruptured and chocolate-like fluid had scattered in my abdomen, hence the abdominal pain. She informed me that the operation would be done at 6:00 in the evening of the same day, which meant no food and water intake still until the surgery.

Since I was not allowed to eat nor drink for the whole day technically, the only thing that I did on that day was to sleep. However, there were times that my slumber would get disrupted because of the pain. Also, I was already irritable because aside from my abdominal pain, my hunger, thirst, and headache raced with each other. I was also so importunate to my husband because I would keep on asking him if I could drink water yet.

After brawling with the multitude of pain, finally, it’s time for my surgery. After my friends offered a prayer for me, I was then brought to the operating room an hour before the operation itself. Call me again crazy, but as soon as I entered the operating room, I felt so excited because I was excited with the thought that finally, my cyst would be removed! At last, after 4 hours of operation and 2 hours at the recovery room, my abdomen was cleansed and my ovarian cyst of 12 cm was gone!

That day was indeed one of the most grueling ever, but I just couldn’t help but feel so blessed despite and in spite of. Despite the hospital bill that almost reached to 100k and the longing to go back home and back to work, I was and still am very thankful to the following who have shown their concern, extended their support, and expressed their love right from the time that it was found out that I had cyst until the time that it was finally removed from me:

• To my students in F. Bangoy CES, thank you for praying for me and for being so behaved in the class despite my absence
• To my colleagues in F. Bangoy CES and to our principal, Ma’am Abayon, thank you for the medical assistance and for the prayers, too.
• To those who visited me in the hospital, thank you for sparing your time to visit me. Your presence and love made my cells happy and strong!
• To the nurses and doctors of San Pedro Hospital, special shout out to the two nurses at St. Lorenzo ward, whose names I have never gotten, thank you for the immediate medical response you have rendered and for the care that I have really felt during my ‘one-week staycation’ in the hospital
• To Dr. Marie Angelica S. Araral, thank you very much for removing my cyst and for the discount 😉
• To PhilHealth, PCSO, DSWD, and OSAP, thank you very much for the financial assistance!
• To Sir Vince Garcia, thank you very much also for the assistance, Sir.
• To my family, relatives, and friends, who have always been my constant prayer warriors, thank you for the love and care.
• To my husband, Daddy Arbie, thank you. Thank you for the love, the tears, the care…everything!
• AND OF COURSE, TO GOD ALMIGHTY, THANK YOU! I NOW HAVE FULLY UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING, LORD. THANK YOU!

At present, I am on leave and I am fully recuperating at home. As of today, my incisions are already healed, but my left ovary itself is not fully healed yet. Even if my cyst was already removed, there would still be a possibility that it would recur in 5 or 6 years. Regardless, I am now very happy because I am quite healed and I am looking forward to the day that I will be back to the hospital again, not because of a cyst but because of giving birth to a healthy baby!

To God be the glory!

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Words of Thanks to My DCHS Family

(Disclaimer: Someone told me that I might give a thank you message during the thanksgiving ceremony. So, on the day of the thanksgiving ceremony itself, actually during the general meeting, I hurriedly wrote this thinking that I would really give a message. However, there was no giving of message; instead, I blogged it. This is unedited, so forgive the grammar lapses.)

A year ago, I was here before you, giving my testimony about how thankful I was to be part of the Davao Christian High School family, that I was already “home.” A year (or so) after, I’m here again, giving another testimony about how thankful I am to be part of the DCHS family, but this time, I am already leaving home.

It’s undeniable that DCHS has become one of my second homes. It wasn’t that difficult adjusting here maybe because I’ve already met some of you during the Inter-Chi volleyball competitions. The school itself isn’t unfamiliar to me anymore, too, for I was able to join seminars where the venue was here. Generally, DCHS and I have made a bond easily and smoothly. With that, I would like to thank DCHS and the people who have become a wonderful part of my life.

To my English area family, thank you for the fun moments especially during our outing at Lake Sebu and Gumasa. Thank you for unceasingly teaching and guiding me with my lessons, activities, etc. To Ma’am Katya, my ever loving, supportive, and encouraging subject area coordinator, thank you, Ma’am. I will surely miss how you’ve been constantly appreciating and believing in me, not only as a teacher but also as a person.

To my volleybelles, thank you for the super duper fun times from playing to eating. Thank you because even if we often lost, we still had fun. Don’t worry. I will not apply in any DACS school, so I will not become your opponent in the Mother Assumpta Cup. I will miss you all and the free jersey! :))

To my high school family, thank you for the (insert adjectives) memories that we’ve had. I’ve learned different things from each of you, and I truly appreciate the times that despite the stresses, we still find time to laugh and have fun. I will miss how we become so “seriously fun!”

To my fellow 4th year teachers, thank you. Thank you for the support, patience, and understanding. Being the youngest (ehem2x), I am so happy to have kuyas, ates, and tatay in the 4th year family. I will surely miss your brilliance and enthusiasm.

To the guidance people, Mayor, Mymy, Ma’am Sashi, Amielle, plus PGen, thank you for adopting me during lunch time. 😀 Thank you for listening to my dramas and to my jokes (if I had). Thank you also for the stories that you’ve shared with me. Never worry. My lips are sealed and I value confidentiality.

To my travel mates, thank you for the bond and fun! Looking forward to more travels with you! Please text me! :))

To Ma’am Frane, thank you for the opportunity of sending me to the K to 12 training in Baguio. Thank you. I’m sorry if I had not become the teacher that everyone expected me to be, but rest assured that I love and care for my students for them to become ‘independent learners,’ and to the extent that my husband gets jealous whenever I keep on buying prizes for the kids. Still, thank you so much, Ma’am.

To the most awesome and loving principal, Ma’am Jocy, a big, big thanks to you. You just don’t know how you’ve inspired me and all of us to be excellent teachers. Thank you for the birthday notes, for the counsel, for the LOVE, for everything. You’ve indeed touched my life, Ma’am, and you are one of the people whom I will miss a LOT! I know it’s difficult to find another Ma’am Jocy in other institutions, but I pray that I could meet a leader who is enthusiastic and supportive as you. I love you, Ma’am.

To everyone who has become part of my life in one way or another, thank you. Though, to be honest, I don’t know some of you personally, I still thank you because you know me. :))

Some of you are surely confused why I would be leaving. One of the reasons I’m leaving is that I’m applying in public. My husband has recently been accepted as a public school teacher, and he has encouraged me to apply in the public school. Yes, it takes months to be in the public, but as what I’ve informed others, “While waiting, baby making!” Please pray for me and for us. 😉

Two years of stay here in DCHS may be so short, but for me, it’s like I’ve already been here for a long time because I was able to adapt well easily. I may be leaving DCHS, but my love for the school and the people will be staying here forever. We never know, I might come back here soon, or maybe there in Ma-a. We never know. Only God knows.

Thank you and good noon.

My 2014 Resolutions?

It has been months of hiatus since my last post, and as a comeback, I think it would be great if I start the new year right by writing one post. And since it is already 2014, I would might as well enumerate my cliche new year’s resolutions.

1. I have to lose weight. Before I got married, I could remember that I weighed 55 kgs. That was two years ago though. Now, I’m sure that I already weigh 75-78 kgs (the last time I weighed, I was 74 kgs). So for 2014, my goal is to lose weight. Not because, I want to, but  because I have to. I need to. There are nights that I have to catch my breath. I mean, seriously. And because of my obesity, I can’t bear a baby yet. So losing weight is not only for me to look good (again), but also for me to be healthy.

2. No soda, no junk foods, less sweets. Two years ago, (yeah, before I got married), I really imposed discipline to myself: I drank no soda; I ate no junk foods, and I took less sweets. I did these things to make my body slimmer. Did. This 2014, I want to do what I already used to do. I actually tried not to drink soda and eat junk food last year, but I always got tempted whenever they were before my eyes. And with the sweets? Hehehe!

3. I will spend LESS time surfing the net (FB) and playing Candy Crush. I admit. This new year’s resolution is one of the most difficult resolutions for me. I could say getting away with this hobby that I almost always do is tantamount to smoking that has to be stopped right then and there. This will surely take time. And discipline. Much discipline. I’m keeping my fingers crossed though. (What level am I now in Candy Crush?)

4. I will be a good wife to my husband. Please don’t get me wrong. MY HUSBAND IS NOT UNDER THE SAYA (henpecked). It’s just that he has loooooooooooooooooong patience and wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide understanding whenever I have my tantrums. I’m so blessed to have a husband like him, but is he blessed to have a wife like me? It’s something for me to ponder on.

5. I will NOT procrastinate and cram. My new year’s resolution for ages! Masters assignments, school works, etc. I know I can still work well if the deadline is almost near, but wouldn’t it be much better if I work on something days or weeks ahead the deadline? But actually, as of writing this, I have already procrastinated. Facepalm!

6. I will save money. I actually did this last year, and I could say that I was quite successful. Quite, because there were some instances wherein my savings had to be used for emergency purposes. Nonetheless, I will still continue saving this year. Leggo!

7. I will refrain from buying impulsively. Nice shirt! Awesome book! Yummy food! Cute Winnie the Pooh stuff! Oops! I think I have to control myself from buying things that I actually don’t need at all.

8. I will be more hardworking. To be honest, I have been slacking off recently. Maybe my weight can be a culprit. Regardless though, I have to be more hardworking at home, with my studies, and at work, or I will regret. 😉

9. I and my husband will keep our house clean and organized. It’s a good thing though that on New Year’s Eve, I and my husband had our general cleaning. Now, our little abode is way much, much better than how it was before. Well, we will just have to maintain the cleanliness of our home.

10. I will read and write more. Thanks to my husband, I was able to awaken the bookworm in me years ago. However, I am not that consistent in reading thick novels. So hopefully this year, I will be able to read books again. To add, I also hope that I will be able to write more posts this year.

It’s still the fourth of January, so I still have 361 days to do these resolutions. There may be instances that will surely make me deviate from these resolutions, yet I will try my very best to follow them. With discipline, I can! Good luck to me and to everyone who has set his/her new year’s resolutions! Happy new year!

Just Got Inked!

Politicians serenading Filipinos’ votes, people listing candidates as if listing whom to give presents this Christmas, and everyone aspiring for a better nation – these are the usual scenarios that happen whenever there are elections in the Philippines.

Apart from being a special non-working holiday, Election Day in the Philippines is like a fiesta – not mentioning the buntings that clad the streets and outside the polling precincts. People hustle from here to there just to have their votes cast. And of course, different election-related news reports are on queue to update the viewers and the listeners. Perhaps, the tagline “It’s More Fun in the Philippines” does not apply on tourism only, but also on election per se. While these and those people are doing these and those things, there is this one thing that I get excited with during elections: my index finger getting inked.

Finally, the most awaited date had finally come – May 13, 2013. I was pretty excited to have my index finger inked again after three years. Though I was quite excited, I did not intend to wake up early today. I was sure that people were still squeezing themselves in the polling precincts. I was still in the verge of making my sleep the most of it; however, I was awakened by the noise of the news that was being aired on television. That was about 10 in the morning already. I got up and joined my husband in watching the news. Since I was not into politically awareness (Sorry!), I went downstairs. My sister-in-law saw me and asked, “Humana ka’g boto, te?” (Are you done voting yet?) I just shook my head and then asked the same question to her. She said that she was done.  My mom interrupted, “Te, sa precinct 2498-A ka #16. Si Arbie, #68.” (You’ll be in precinct 2498-A, #16. Arbie, #68.) She even added that it was hassle-free in the precinct. Well, good! There’s no need for me to hurry and scurry to vote.

I went back to my husband and told him about the information that Mama told me. While he was still watching the news, I was then busy scribbling down names of candidates whom I would vote. I even asked my husband whether to vote this person or not, for the sake of filling in my list. When I finished listing down names, I asked my husband, “After lunch ta mag-vote?” (Are we voting after lunch?) He just nodded.

After taking a bath and taking our lunch, we headed to the polling precinct. Finally! It’s a good thing that the precinct was just a walk away, perhaps, 80-100 meters away (Sorry. I’m poor at measurements.) As we were nearing the precinct, I observed that the place was peaceful. Indeed, the election there was hassle-free. My husband and I were actually done in 10 minutes! So fast compared to 1 hour and whatsoever minutes that I had read on some of the statuses of my Facebook friends.

Speaking for our own precinct, I could say that the election turned out fine. As of writing this, I haven’t heard of anything unusual or appalling that happened in the vicinity, aside from the PCOS machines that did not work in other precincts. Perchance, we were so fortunate that almost everything turned out satisfactory here in the Land of Promise. However, I am praying for those places that have election-related untoward incidences. Yes, I may be so proud and happy that I finally have had my index finger inked, but I hope this indelible ink remains purple in color, and not red, if you know what I mean.

So purple! My husband's and my index fingers :)

So purple!
My husband’s and my index fingers 🙂

So What?!

That skin that glimmers in whiteness and smoothness, that body that oozes with sexiness and confidence, and that personality that pleases the people around, look good especially on girls, right? Those characteristics make women proud and glad. They can surely flaunt what they have. But, am I one of these women? Am I really proud and glad of myself? Can I flaunt myself being a negra, baboy, and bipolar?

I have got a lot of issues in life. Insecurities are one, and my skin color is an example. Way back when I was in grade school, I had always been so insecure with my skin color. If at present, a few would say, “Namuti lagi ka, Rhudz?” then, how dark was I before? In grade school, I could remember that some of my classmates would call me “Negra” or any word that would associate with black. It actually didn’t bring me much care at all back then. I just lived as if I didn’t hear them. “Ok ra na!” I assured myself. But, it was and never had been OK.

I thought I could handle my skin color, more than it handled me for years. Then, there was this time when my childishness was being replaced by the maturity that puberty unfortunately brought me. Yes, my high school life brought me back to my senses, that again, my skin color was a big failure in my life.

When I was in high school, I belonged to a certain circle of friends. They’re actually so nice to me. But, when that moment came when courtship became a trend, there I was again. I felt that the whole world betrayed me. No guy liked me! I felt that I was left in darkness literally. It came to a point that I asked my mother if I were beautiful or not? Then, my mother would just guarantee, “Gwapa lagi ka, te!” Wow! How my mom loved me so much!

My issues on my skin color had slowly faded. Thanks to the encouraging words of my mother, and to the help of some whitening products which were not that effective. I started flaunting myself and became proud of who I was. Until…

“Baboy! Tambok! Taba!” Gosh! Why in the world did my weight grow together with my height?! If I used to have 25 inches waistline, I’m afraid that at present, it could have doubled! It didn’t matter much to me actually. But, whenever I meet friends and colleagues, they would say, “Hala! Pirti na nimong panambok, Rhudz, wui!” I would just be taken aback. Sometimes, if I had the guts to respond, I would just say, “Sige lang. Magpapayat lang ko.” And, I have been telling that line over and over and over again! There were instances, too, that whenever I rode a tricycle and stepped inside, I could feel that the gravity was so mad at me that it gave its full force on my foot! Well, I actually tried to lose weight. Before, I used to try slimming products, but my ex-boyfriend, now my husband, would just keep on telling me that these products were not good! L Not only that! I also tried zumba at home, but it just lasted for 5 days. I also had a pack of oatmeal, but I think it would already spend its anniversary in the fridge in a few months time. Depressed and disappointed with such, I would succumb myself to eating. Well, I have already accepted that this is my “disciplinary” problem. I admit I get insecure with sexy ladies out there. I even nudge my husband to them, but he would just ignore. I may be fat now, but who cares?

Some people perhaps. Some are so vain with their physical appearances. Well, I can get away from my physical insecurities. However, apart from my being black and fat, there is this one character that does not only bring me insecurities in life, but also misunderstandings and disputes.

Before, I thought that this personality was just fine. When I used to teach Grade 1 pupils, whenever they became unruly in class, I became mad at them. After a few minutes of telling them to behave and the like, I would go back to normal. I mean, I would continue discussing and eventually would smile at them. For three years, I had been like that. And, I brought that temperament in DCHS, to my fourth year students. I thought that was fine. That it was just normal. However, an instance happened between me and a certain group of students, which led them to tweet on twitter, “Bipolar siya!” Being good at intuitions, I asked these students if they were referring to me. Then, so on. I won’t dwell much on details anymore. I have already been trying to forget what happened. I was, am, and will never be a perfect teacher. Who would be? I may be bipolar, but the only consolation I had was I did not hurt anybody.

These things are just actually few of my insecurities. They have been haunting me from time to time, but I have ignored those most often. These insecurities are just nothing. I may not have that skin that glimmers in whiteness and smoothness, but I have a heart that shines for everyone. I may not have the body that oozes with sexiness and confidence, but my intelligence and talents make me a lot sexier. I may sometimes not have the personality that pleases the people around, but I’m me! I may be this, I may not be that, but I am me, and God created me as me!

Negra? Baboy? Bipolar? So what?!

Surprise? Surprise!

I am a girl who loves surprises. I want to surprise people. Much more, I want to be surprised. Well, there was this one event that made me so surprised which went much better than expected. It was on our first wedding anniversary.

It was December 28, 2012. All I had in mind for that day was only to go to church and attend mass. Knowing my husband for being the exact opposite of me, I didn’t expect for something else. I already conditioned my mind that “Rhudz, manimba ra mo!” So, we both went to St. Jude Thaddeus Parish to hear the 5:00 PM mass. We got married there, so we decided to hear mass in the said church. The homily was about the innocent children, if I were not mistaken, for that day was also the Innocents’ Day. But, that was not the main highlight. It was that the first surprise happened there. For those who are unfamiliar of the Catholic Eucharist, at almost the latter part of the mass, the priest would say, “Let us offer each other the sign of peace.” Usually, my husband and I would just smile at each other then smile to other people. But, on that day, it was different. He kissed me…on my lips! I was shocked for a second then I came back to my senses. After a while, the mass had ended, and then we left.

After the mass, I thought that was already it. I thought we could at least take dinner at Mandarin – our favorite restaurant. When we were crossing Quirino Street, he immediately “ordered” me to take the jeepney. “Sakay, Say! Dali!” So, I hurriedly took the jeepney! I wanted to ask him where were we going, but I opted not to. Minutes later, I wasn’t able to hold it anymore. Finally, I asked him, “Asa diay ta?” He just told me with a smile and sparkle in his eyes, “Roxas.” My mind wasn’t able to process his answer right away. Roxas? Where in Roxas? I was only thinking of the barbeque stalls which used to be there. Then, I just remembered we once mentioned to each other that one of those days, he and I would be eating at this certain restaurant. Chippens.

Yes! The second surprise was an eat-all-you-can at Chippens. Finally! Nothing much actually happened there. My wild imagination thought that maybe a couple of waiters would sing to us love songs, or an accomplice would hand me a bouquet of flowers, or my husband himself would give me something else. Those were just merely thoughts. We just ate, which I unfortunately wasn’t able to enjoy that much because I was full then. We took pictures, too. Well, that was still surprising, wasn’t it?

An hour or so had passed. I thought we would be going home already. When we were walking, he suddenly told me that his tummy was aching. I told him, “Gusto ka balik ta sa Chippens?” But instead, we continued walking. We reached Acacia and argued a bit about his aching tummy. “Unsa man?” I asked him. He said that he would instead go to his office at Quirino, and you know what-would-happen-next. In lieu of taking a taxi, which I first suggested, we instead took an I-forgot-what-route-that-jeepney-is-but-it-is-heading-to-RMC-gym. I was already quite worried with him. When we were at Ilustre-Quirino crossing already, I just got shocked that we didn’t disembark at Merco Quirino. I just gazed at him and he said that he would instead go to his officemate’s boarding house along that road that I didn’t know. When we disembarked, we walked for quite a while, and I kept on asking him where were we heading to? He would only say, “Basta. Sa unahan lang.” Well, I just followed him. When we were about to reach a certain dormitel, I was so shocked when he was going there. He laughingly said to me, “Diri ilang boarding house.” But, I told him with kilig, “Haha! Boarding house ka diha! Gidamay-damay pa nimo si Sir W ha?!” So, the third surprise was our overnight stay in that hotel.

My heart was already beating fast that time. I just couldn’t help but keep on smiling at what was happening. Again, I thought that was already it, but I was wrong. When we already entered our room, I got surprised. The fourth surprise! I saw pink roses on the bed. Because of my surprise, I just told him, “Corny-ha nimo wui!” (blushed) I embraced and kissed him! That time, I also gave him my simple present for him. Anyway, going back. He told me that he was supposed to buy a bouquet, but if he were to buy a bouquet, he couldn’t put it in his bag. That’s one of his concerns. He didn’t (and still doesn’t) want to carry a bouquet of flowers. Haha! After some series of chika-chika, out of the blue, he just said, “Gwapo ang cabinet, Say, noh?” I nodded, and I, as curious as a child, opened the pull-outs of the cabinet. When I opened the bottom pull-out, I was again shocked with what I saw. A bag! At the back of my mind, I thought that a certain guest had left a bag in the cabinet! But, when I saw my husband laughing at me because of my reaction, then I just realized that that bag was really meant for me! The fifth surprise! That bag was the bag that I liked very much at a certain mall. He just kept on laughing at me. I felt a bit shy. I punched him slightly and even cried a bit. I cried not because I was mad or really shy about what happened, but I cried because I didn’t expect that he had a lot of tricks up his sleeves. After that, “the rest was history.” *winks*

I was indeed surprised on our anniversary. Please don’t get me wrong. I was and still am not surprised with material things only. But, the effort and the love that my husband had shown me that day were overflowing. Yes, I am still a girl who loves surprises, and I can’t wait for more surprises, I mean BLESSINGS that are in store for me.

Our Simple Earth Hour (Celebration)

Lights off.

At 8:30 in the evening, I already switched off the lights in our house. Though not all appliances were turned off, I could say that we already did a ‘great’ part with simply turning the lights off even within just an hour.

IMG_20130323_203808

Yes. This would emit CO2. But, sorry. We wouldn’t want to take our dinner in total darkness! :>

Honestly, today was our first time to join this Earth Hour. I mean, to do the turning off of lights for an hour together with the world.  Although we did not turn off everything, for me, it was a fantastic experience to have joined this momentous event. Sorry. Next time, I will try my best to convince my husband for us to turn off everything (he was complaining because the fan was turned off, too.) Nonetheless, I was so thankful that my husband and I made our part to save energy and to save the world.

Let’s continue to make Mother Earth happy! Continue saving her! :>